I have had a very difficult and lonely life, and to this day I still carry that struggle within me. Some wounds never heal; they follow you like a shadow, sometimes gentle and discreet, sometimes sharp and painful. The pain of the past seems almost unreal today, like a form of surrealism that suddenly reappears. Just when you think you’re okay, that feeling comes back… raw, real, indescribable. It’s still difficult to talk about it. Very quickly, you feel like you’re exaggerating, or that others will think you’re making it up. What was real? And what was simply too painful to dare to name? How can you talk about manipulation, about the facade you had to maintain so that no one would see what was happening at home? How can you talk about someone who uses drugs or drinks a lot of alcohol, someone who has attempted suicide and flirted with death? There are no simple words for any of this. Only silence… or survival. I have lived a life full of questions, often unanswered. But one thought has never left me, a common thread running through it all: it can be different! I had the chance to see inside other families, and there I saw what I had never known at home: warmth, calm, security. Those moments whispered to me: “Stijn, later, you’ll do things differently. Hang in there, try to survive until then.” ” Survive, yes, that was it. Survive in solitude… There is still so much I could tell you. Feel free to ask questions, take a moment, and I will share my story with you. Thank you for taking the time to read this. That alone means more than you know.