What is ‘repeated trauma’ in children
“Many people can imagine trauma in the context of major events like terrorist attacks or natural disasters,” says Eva Kestens. “This is what we call acute trauma: one-time, overwhelming experiences that can have a deep impact. But when we talk about trauma in children, it often refers to domestic violence, neglect, or abuse, which tends to have a long-term, profound effect on a child’s development.”
How does repeated trauma affect children?
Children are in the midst of their development and are particularly vulnerable to environmental influences. “Their brains are like sponges, absorbing not only positive but also negative experiences intensely. This can lead to an oversensitive stress system, causing children to react more intensely to situations that may seem insignificant to others. They can either explode quickly or become extremely withdrawn.”
Behavior as a signal
A child’s behavior is often a signal that something is wrong. “Children who have experienced trauma may either behave extremely obediently or be very restless. The stress system, which has been disrupted by their experiences, is the cause. Therefore, it’s important not just to focus on the behavior itself but also to consider the underlying causes.”
The role of adults
Children with trauma often have a different reference point when it comes to trust and safety. “Those who grow up in unsafe environments often have difficulty trusting adults, even when those adults are trustworthy,” says Kestens. “Be patient and realize that these children need time to build trust.”
How to interact with traumatized children
“There is no standard approach,” says Eva Kestens. “Trauma in children is a complex and profound issue that requires a careful and empathetic approach. By closely observing a child’s behavior, listening to their needs, and being patient in building trust, we can play an important role in the healing process.”
Practical Tips
- Give yourself and the child time to uncover what might be causing their behavior.
- Don’t impose yourself as a ‘trustworthy adult.’ This is not easy for traumatized children.
- Work together to find practical solutions for their needs and fears.
- Keep your mind calm: if you are calm, the child often will be too.
- Create a ‘survival team’ list with the child: who are the important and trusted people in their life?
- Moderate your compliments. Keep them small, and write them down so the child can revisit them later.
- In all communication with the child: do what you say, and say what you do.
