“I’m Evy, I’m 41 years old,” Evy begins her story. “Happily married and mother of two children.” In her daily life, she is a coach and helps others live a more conscious and powerful life. But her own journey to self-awareness and strength was one with many obstacles.
Evy’s childhood was marked by child abuse. “I want to tell my story because I was gagged long enough,” she says with determination. She speaks from personal experience because the abuse made her constantly fearful and insecure. “I was always scared and didn’t know who I was. It was a constant search, both in my childhood and later in my adult life.”
This anxiety manifested itself in different ways. As a child, Evy played a lot of tennis, where she hid behind a mask of cheerfulness. “I always wore a mask to hide my fears. I was always smiling to the outside world, while at home I was a very sad, anxious Evy.”
The mistreatment in her family not only made her anxious but also rebellious. “I wanted to break out,” she recalls. “I often intervened when other family members were being mistreated, which resulted in me receiving more beatings myself.”
The impact of violence within her family was huge on her social life.
“I had no friends at school because I was bullied,” Evy says.
Tennis was her refuge, but she didn’t have any real friends there either.
“I was the happy kid at tennis because that’s what was expected of me. At home, however, I was very lonely.”
This loneliness continued into her adult life. “Trusting people is still difficult,” she admits. “I can quickly form intense friendships, but when things get too frightening, I push people away.” This behavior has its roots in her childhood, where she learned to protect herself by keeping others at arm’s length.
Evy’s experience with abuse has also affected her professional life. “I am now self-employed because I find it difficult to assume authority from others,” she explains. She still struggles with insecurity and low self-esteem. “I always thought I wasn’t worth anything, but I’ve learned that’s not true.”
Sharing her story is a way for Evy to give hope to other survivors of child abuse. “There is hope after a life of child abuse,” she stresses. She wants people to see that it is possible to regain themselves and build a happy life despite a traumatic childhood.
